So I don't know if I'm alone in the endless battle of getting kids to pitch in and help. And finding a system that works. Maybe I put my expectations too high.. or maybe they are just too low.. I'm a pushover.. and not good at being consistent.. that might be a BIG part of my problem.
Systems I have tried that have failed.
* Chore charts with stickers. Payment. 25 cents a day if all chores are done. ( yeah, I know, I'm cheap.) Extra chores above and beyond would get extra money..
Why it failed: I really hate standing over all the kids to make sure it gets done and have to constantly put stickers on the chart. 2- the meaning of the word" Done" become all in the eye of the beholder.3- Only Jameson cared about the money.. and therefore demanded payment for every little thing I asked him to do.
Ex: Me: " Jameson will you please pick those clothes and put them in the hamper."
Jameson:" Do I get paid for it?"
Me: " ummmm... no... can't you just help me?
Jameson: Not if I don't get paid.. cause that is and extra chore.
( I would then rephrased the idea.. you can do it quickly and quietly OR... you can put your nose in the corner and not come out till you are willing to do it quickly and quietly.)
See how this conversation( not to mention the boiling point I reached often.) would constitute a failure?
* I've tried the online computer chore chart called Handipoints where you could create a list of things each kid had to do and when they accomplished it, they would jump on and could put a "stamp" on the job done. I could then get online and approve or disapprove. It even allowed them to pick out there rewards. ( ex. Go to movies. etc. etc. etc) and they could see there chart fill in to the 100% mark..
Why it failed: This was great for awhile. till getting on the computer every moment seemed to cause quite a few distractions as well as It wasn't hard at all to meet your goal.. like done in a DAY!
It was more fun for the kids tho'.
Here are my other problems-
I'm a control freak on how some jobs should be done.( like loading a dishwasher,washing dishes.laundry.)
I know I can get it done faster if I just do it myself and sometimes . . . it's worth it.
I underestimate of what my kids are perfectly capable of doing. And have it stuck in my head that they are too little to do certain chores. ( even tho I was doing that plus some at their age.) And learning that my friends kids are doing them just fine~
I really hate going the rounds to get 10 min job done.( which will inevitably take over an hour since I will count on at least 3 total avoidance of job, 2 arguments. 3 whinings. and 1 melt down.)
So I was in the middle of my brainstorm of how I was going to turn this endless cycle around and figure out what the kids can and can't do. One that I will actually STICK too.
I thought back to when I was a kid and what the routine was at our house.
First I need to mention if you grew up around me you know we couldn't do ANYTHING unless we had our "Jobs" done. We had jobs on a daily basis and deep clean jobs on the weekends. That if we wanted to play with your friends you had to get your stuff done. It sucked. I won't lie. We were always cleaning. My friend would tease me and call me "Stacey-rella". BUT with six kids. It was needed. And I see my mother logic perfectly.( Now.) I still admire her stubborn ( which is incredibly rare .) refusal to give in on this topic. I could never get out of cleaning. Ever.
Her system was this:
Everyone had a room they were in charge of for a two week period. Weather it be the kitchen, bathroom, Etc. etc. and of course our bedrooms were a given.
When we got home from school we were in charge of straightening the room up, wiping down counters, and vacuuming. Come Fri- Right after school, She would have a list for each us that we had to do in our room. It was DEEP CLEANING day. and trust me we scrubbed and scrubbed. My mom has an eagle eye for this stuff! Sat Morning we would have to go over it again and If we did a good enough job Fri.. it didn't take too long.( It seemed like it did tho'.)
Then when our two weeks were up we would rotate to a different room. We rarely got paid an allowance. But they did dish out the cash, for movies. friend activity's, etc. etc. So I guess that was our allowance.
My friend Tami was blogging about how she works her system with her kids and I liked her idea's too!!! And agreed quite a bit with her point of view. I had to send her email asking for more detail to see what other clever idea's she has come up with. ( That I could steal!) So after reading hers. and Talking to my mom .
This is my Newly devised plan of attack.
- I'm upping the responsibility if each child- They will get assigned one room they are in charge of Per week. As well as their bedroom. Along with a dish night. ( yes,I will be in there helping them.)
Which then will rotate Come Sunday to a new room for the week.( open minded, well rounded.)
Each room has a list that they must complete Daily.
- They will Not be getting Paid for Regular chores. I no longer think that is a good idea. Part of the family..everyone chips in.
- I have made a list of EXTRA chores. ( you know , the ones that Nobody wants to do. But desperately need done.) That are open to earn some $$$. There are open for the taking,Till a certain date. If no one takes it. It goes into the "group effort" category. to which Everyone helps get it done... for FWREEEEE!
-The idea is you can take it on by yourself for some extra cash or you can all do it together for nothing. ( It's going to get done one way or another.)
-They are not eligible for the extra mula jobs if the regular chores are not complete.
-Once they put their Initials by the extra mula job.. they are herby bound to it. and must be complete by date stated. And it must be done to my specs.. or it is recalled for a do over.. no extra cash will be dealt out the second time around.
- Since every kid is ability's are different. And some can pay a little more attention to detail. They are paid a certain amount of $ according to age and ability.. PER JOB.( Jameson will clearly be paid a bit better then Zoey for obvious reasons.)
- No T.V, Video Games. Computer, Or friends til jobs are complete. If this is broken after ONE warning, I tack on 1 extra job per offense.. . free of charge of course.
I know Tami uses a white board. and Clever little names for Duties assigned .Ex: Sanitation engineer for Bathrooms etc., Zoo keeper: for the pets. Domestic Engineer. ( for help in the kitchen and typical mom duties.) I think this is super cute. And might follow suit here later on if this system works.( everyone cross your fingers.)
I have high hopes that this just might work for us.( Okay. . Me.) So a big huge Thank-you to my mom. both for example and some ingenious ideas. And to Tami for some great creative thinking and some really good points and ideas! You guys RULE!
Wish me luck.. since I'm pretty sure most of this will NOT be popular with my children. ( I'm doing my EVIL laugh! wahhahh haa haa!)
But I am still curious as to what other Moms are doing in regards to chores etc. I would love to hear about what works for you!
8 years ago
9 comments:
I love your ideas. Be strong, it will definately be a battle at first, but I'm sure you'll conquer.
I remember all the jobs you HAD to do BEFORE you could play growing up. I acutally think about that once in a while. Your mom is a good example of a mom sticking to her guns because I don't remember you EVER getting out of doing your jobs. Its inspiration to me.
Good luck and be the first to conquer. Of course Heather might be a good idea to talk to. My kids laugh at all of my tactics. Hailey likes $$$ but she's expensive. Braydon is fine is fine being broke. Kallee....well she's clueless. They do the dishwasher, their rooms and put away clothes. That's about it. GOOOOOOD Luck!!
Oh you brought back so many memories! We never really had chores growing up other than cleaning our rooms (and I always had to clean the bathroom whenever MY friends would come over)so I remember getting so frustrated when you couldn't go do something till your chores were done. But I think I ended up doing more chores at your house than I ever did at my own just so we could get out of the house! Good luck and let me know what works. Yes, Simon is probably still too young for chores, but I'm still trying to figure out a way to get Cody to do chores around the house. $$$ might do the trick, except he knows just how broke we are! :)
My house was an absolute zoo. So I am all on my own with this one. As you know I tried Handipoints and it just isn't our thing. I did get a chart from the dollar store and put one on each of their doors. they have jobs they have to mark off before t-ball and piano. this seems to be going well since it is in their face everytime they walk into their room. We will see. But I will have to adopt some of tami's awesome job titles for sure.
Ok, Jeremy and I just discussed a new way that we want to have Andrew involved in picking up his room a little more even though he is only three. Jasmine does pretty well but she is seven. We are going to have three different baskets with toys and treats from very little ones to more expensive ones. Each of these baskets will have a number of points on it like 30,50,100. And we will award marbles for different chores completed around the house. After which they can trade in their marbles for the desired item. It’s kinds like a little store where they can see what is available and then work towards getting it. I will let you know how it works in several months and you have to let us all know how your system is working for you. Good luck!
I really like your system you have set up. I agree that they don't need to be paid to do things they should be doing anyways. My kids all do chores...though we are better at a system in the summer. My kids fold cloths, clean room, make bed, bathrooms(yep they are young but they can do it...I give them gloves) dishwasher and any other job I give them. They even change Abby's wet diaper. They are not perfect at it by any means. My dishes are sometimes put away messy and the folding isn't really folded, but I don't care. I just want them to have responsibility. Oh and their room has looked very messy lately. I am working on that. I have been more sloppy lately because I have been tired so it has been hard for me to be strict on them being better at their rooms.
I wish you luck...You will do great. Just remember it is a process and it may take a while and never be perfect, but the reward of them doing it and learning responsibility I think is priceless.
my kids never have a problem doing what i ask them to do - unless it's laundry.
no one at our house like laundry.
(insert sad music here)
i have been SOOO fed up with laundry lately that i have changed how i am doing it now.
i wash my kids laundry and put it into a basket, and then THEY have to fold it, hang it, match socks and put it away. i do NONE of that. if i see clean laundry in the dirty laundry i put the offending kid in the freezer for an hour.
i'm just kidding.
but i want to do that.
my kids have it easy. i don't make them do enough and then i'm frustrated when i feel overworked and unappreciated.
Here's my take- if we don't teach our kids how to do laundry and dishes, vacuum, ect, who will do it for us when we are old?
We were also not allowed to go anywhere until chores were done. Which translated into the fact that we just never went anywhere. Kind of sad, really. I only have a few memories of us going out and doing things as a family. Friends almost never came over to our house, and we usually had to sneak off to play at theirs. We got good at playing amongst ourselves and doing loner things like reading. But we were always in trouble!
Luckily, my kids are far more reasonable and will help out with chores out of love or logic, or just routine. Routine works well with my kids. =)
I made a system where each day of the week is a certain room, and the tasks for getting that room done are divided between us. We end up doing about two things each, like dusting and vacuuming, or picking up and scrubbing. Each week has one deep cleaning day - one week it's the office on Monday, then the next Tuesday it's the bathroom. Their bedroom has a day and my bedroom has a day. Though I set my bedroom's day for Friday so I could do it myself while they have playdates.
I use mychores.co.uk to keep the system and make print-outs of daily chores. And then I use ChoreWars.com to keep it entertaining and keep track of who did what and reward points. On ChoreWars I gave the chores titles like "Laundering the Linens" and "Scouring the Scullery". They really like it! Getting to go do battle with dust bunnies and such, and seeing what magical items and how much gold they won, on the Web site, does motivate them! It's so cool!
I'm good at creating an organized system, but I'm bad at having the energy to be sure they do it and do it right. But they're good kids and it balances out. Sometimes the house looks great, and sometimes it's a disaster. LOL! In the end it's more important that you have a good relationship with your kids, and give them memories of doing fun things with you. ;)
~Lia
Post a Comment